Some Stuff Happened Today

So nothing really to blog about today, so I'll just relive a few moments from my day. I guess I should start by wishing all of you a happy new year, of course. Or shall I say L'shana Tova! Sorry.

If you haven't figured out, today is the Jewish new year. I was on a bus earlier, heading through a very Jewish area, and a bunch of Hasidic Jews were walking on the sidewalks, because they can't drive! Stupid Jews.

Anyway, there were two girls sitting near me who had clearly never seen Hasidic Jews before. When two men walked by, in their black hats and black suits, with their curly sideburns and tzitzis (those thin, white threads they wear under their shirts) with full beards.

One girl turns to the other and says, "What the fuck is that?"

The one answers, "I don't know."

Happy new year ladies.

Just now I was walking back to my room after taking out some trash, and I hear music blasting from down the hall. My immediate reaction is "assholes," because the music was playing incredibly loud and it was around midnight on a Tuesday. Then I heard the lyrics.

"I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn/ You're a little late, I'm already torn."

Yes! I almost wanted to go knock on their door and shake their hands. Then we'd all put our arms around one another and belt out the rest of the song, replay it and do it over, and over and over. Then we'd feel a little gay and really embarrassed and pretended it never happened.

I didn't do that though. I just went back to my room and listened to song and dreamt about a society where I don't have to be ashamed of my love for Natalie Imruglia's music/one song.

I'll leave you with something that happened today during my film class. It's a four hour class where usually the professor talks for a little bit, and shows up clips from movies to demonstrate whatever he was talking about. That takes up about two hours, then we watch a full movie for the second half of class.

Today the media are in the room was locked and he couldn't get in. When he called for help he was told they couldn't get in either because it wasn't locked, but broken. So he and the TA tried to hook up a laptop to the screen and use that, but it didn't work either.

Then he sent the TA to try and find a DVD player in hopes that would work. He had talked for about an hour at that point, and was in desperate need of something so he could start showing clips. Or else we'd get to leave 3 hours early, maybe. That's what I thought at least.

So then he asks if anyone has questions about what we were talking about. A few people ask questions, and that takes about 15 minutes. Then he's answered all questions, and asks if anyone has questions about movies in general.

He gets the "what's your favorite/least favorite movie?" and a few other ones about how you end up as a film teacher. Then someone asks, "Have you ever worked on a film."

He immediately answered, without looking up at the class, "Yes, but nothing I'll ever show you." He said it in such a quick manner that he clearly meant he was talking about making a sex tape, which is why about 6 out of the 100 people in class, myself included, laughed. Well, I laughed because that's what I interpreted it to mean, and assume the other 5 did the same.

Then he clarified, "Just a few documentaries that never saw a wide release." Bingo. All I needed to hear. If sextapes aren't documentaries, what are? And wide release? There's a sex joke in there somewhere, right?

How about: Hey teach, is your penis that small or did she just have such a wide release that it made it look really small?

Eh, doesn't make much sense, I suppose. How about: Hey teach, I've heard of chubby chasers, but if she's any indication of the type of women you like, you've got quite a wide release?

Still no good. This is why I should've just left it the "there's a joke..." joke, instead of trying to actually figure one out.

One more: Hey teach, I've seen sperm shoot out in a straight line, but I've never seen such a wide release!

And you're welcome faithful readers. Just to clear things up, I am a writing major. Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna make it either :(