I thought I'd drop a line to let you all know how we do things in Pittsburgh.
Not sure if you've heard or read yet, but a McCain campaign volunteer was attacked in Pittsburgh last night, around 9 pm, because she had a McCain bumper sticker on her car. It's been widely reported she was mugged after going to an ATM, and then the robber, a black man, carved a "B" on her face. It shouldn't come as any surprise, though, as Obama has pretty much the full support of the Zorro fan club.
Now, there's a lot of speculation about whether or not this whole thing is real. Some of it doesn't seem to add up. For one, her Twitter page. Now, I've seen some Twitter pages, and I'm not entirely sure of the point. Now I do, though. It's to foreshadow attacks.
http://lifeinthefield.com/users/ashley-todd
Here it is. You'll see she was searching for a Bank of American ATM, so she wouldn't have to pay an ATM fee. I'm down with that. Those fees piss me off too. Next up, she's on the wrong side of Pittsburgh, uh oh! Next thing she knows, black guy.
It was also reported that she refused medical treatment and went to a friend's house. There are a bunch of other odd details about the story and such, that make it seem a bit fake. Like, for instance, that the "B" is drawn perfectly, except it's backwards.
Picture, now!
Now, one would think that if you're getting mugged and attacked and someone is carving up your face, you're going to, you know, move. Sqiurm. Juke. Jump. Fall. Twitch. Pass Out. Do something. But it would appear she didn't. She stood there and took it like she was getting her face painted, which it too kind of looks like. And you know, things are backwards in a mirror, so if you were so inclined to try and carve something into your face while looking in a mirror, it would come out backwards.
Okay enough.
No, not yet. Come on, what the fuck? Who calls him Barack? Most call him Obama, and an "O" is so much fucking easier to carve in someone's skin than a "B." Like what the fuck?
Okay, now I'm done. Except that it happened in Pennsylvania, a state McCain kind of really needs to win. But not just Pennsylvania, it happened in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh!
I'm not going to say there's no way her story's not true. I'm sure there are plenty of people in the Pittsburgh area who would love to rob a woman who looked like that and give her a black eye. Of course it could've happened. And while it does seem fishy, let's just run with it.
Pittsburghers for Obama: We'll carve you up.
I mean, come on. This is great. Don't bring that McCain shit around here or we will take a knife and precissely carve the first letter of the presidential candidate we want to win the upcoming election's name in your face, backwards. I don't think I've been this proud to live here since we were named the have the dirtiest air of any city in the country.
Pittsburgh: Bring your surgical mask, leave your McCain button.
Probably best of all, it's almost Halloween. Hopefully this skilled cutter faces has a few pumpkins in his house. If he could carve that backwards "B" just imagine what he could do with a pumpkin.
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