There's a guy who comes into my philosophy class every day with a briefcase. To me, it gives off a message about the way he wants to run his life. He is a serious person, who takes his academics seriously, and wants you to know he is a serious man. He showed up to the first class wearing a suit, and, today, he came in quickly, pissed off that he was perhaps one second late for class. He was clearly feeling rushed.
He opened up his briefcase, and I was able to see the contents. He had a stack of paper, I assume for his notes, legal documents, mortgage papers, things like that. He had a notebook, I assume for this class, so he would be able to organize his thoughts on Descartes, Spinoza, Leibniz, Malebranch, and Alan Moore. He had a copy of Descartes' Meditations on First Philosophy, the text for this section of the class, I assume full of his in-depth notes and critiques of the father of modern philosophy's doctrines.
He had all that. And he also had a HUGE BAG OF FUCKING CANDY CORN! Fuck you. I can't believe that shit!
And I know some of you are like "that's awesome!" No. That's not awesome. That's fucking stupid as all hell. If he was being forced to act like such a shit for a job or something, you know, to be a professional, I would understand. I imagine not all lawyers want to carry briefcases and wear suits, so sometimes they put a bag of candy in their briefcases, too lighten their day... and, y'know, 'cause they like candy. But this motherfucker is in college, is probably not even old enough to drink, and he's putting in so much effort to look serious on purpose. And then he puts a fifty pound sack of candy in his briefcase? And candy corn? Are you fucking joking?
Fuck you.
1 comment:
Would you have applauded it he had Gummi Bears/Worms. And not in a bag, just scattered in his briefcase? I'd applaud that. I might even befriend him in hopes of him sharing his gummi goodness with me.
Post a Comment