It's 4 a.m., I'm up, meaning, paper due today!

Okay, much less nervous about this paper than Friday's paper, mostly because this is for history class. I could go into class, fart on the teacher and tell him history is gay and I'd rather learn about the future... and still pull an A.

So I'm just kind of cruising along here. It's only a 5-8 page paper, which only lessens my need to actually work on it right now. Basically, we got three prompts- one really long involved one, and two first person ones. Most people in the class went with the first one, but anytime I get a chance to use "I" repeatedly while writing, I'm going to take it because I just love doing it. I really do. And because those seem to be easier, plus more fun to write I suppose.

Anyway, I went with a prompt that says you're a soldier and you get a letter from you mother saying your brother has died in war (the Civil War). She asks "What did he die for?" and you have to answer it, while mentioning what side you're fighting with, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I'm writing from the side of the Confederacy. By the way, ever write about defending slavery only six and a half feet away from your black roommate? Strange feeling, and I keep checking over my shoulder just in case.

I'm flipping through my textbook, and i see a picture of a dude beating another with a cane, so I stop, of course. It's one of those inserts on a page that isn't part of the main text of the chapter, meaning nobody reads it because the teacher will never ask about it. But guy hitting another with a can will get me to read anything.

And here's why I think school sucks. This is a U.S. history course. Do you know how long I've been learning U.S. history? How many different courses go over U.S. history, and teach you pretty much the same exact thing? A lot.

Yet I've never heard of the issue between Senator Charles Sumner of Massachusetts and Congressman Preston Brooks of South Carolina. During a meeting of the Senate in 1856, Sumner "suffered permanent injury in a vicious attack by Brooks. Trapped at his desk, Sumner was helpless as Brooks beat him so hard with his cane that it broke."

Yes! And why did he do it? A few days earlier Sumner made an antislavery speech. So Brooks kicked the living shit out of him. Why haven't I heard about this? If there was a course about cane-beatings at Senate meetings, I'd be all over that like a cane on antislavery supporter. So, people, did we ever learn about this and I just forgot, or have they been holding out on all the awesome history stuff?