Remember When I Was Awesome?

No? Well I'm going to tell you. I was awesome in high school. Maybe not awesome as in popular or anything like that, but just awesome. I was reminded how awesome I was in high school just today when I saw this picture.



That's of course "Chop Suey" by Edward Hopper, which I of course had to look up because I couldn't remember the name of it or who painted it. Oh well. There it is. A lovely painting. Anyway, in high school, I was in a writing class where the teacher gave us a writing prompt where we had to write dialogue between those two women, what were they talking about at that moment in time. This reminds me of my awesomeness because I was pretty awesome in writing classes in high school, or at least some of my teachers thought so. The teacher that gave that prompt thought so. And now I'm going to make you suffer through what I wrote for that prompt, or at least what I remember I wrote for that prompt, because I kind of like it. The lady in green is Mary and the women in Blue is Cheryl.

Cheryl: So as I was telling you, I woke up and didn't remember a thing. I was next to some guy with a dirty looking ponytail and he was naked. There was a camera on a tri-pod pointing at the bed. But here's the weird part, I was fully clothed. I have no recollection of the night.

Mary: Oh my god. What'd you do?

Cheryl: I left. It wasn't a house I ever remember going to, nor a street I ever remember being on. I don't even remember the street name. I asked the cab driver the name, but I don't know. It took like 35 minutes to get home once the cab came. It's just terrible.

Mary: Well, do you fell, you know, sore? Down there?

Cheryl: Not really. I don't know.

Mary: Hmm, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but sounds like you were raped.

Cheryl: Oh my god. That's terrible.

Mary: I know. What are you going to tell Richard?

Cheryl: Oh my god, Richard. My wonderful husband. He doesn't deserve any of this. He goes away on business for one week, and I end up getting raped. And on film! I'm a horrible person.

Mary: It's not your fault. Listen, just don't tell him.

Cheryl: What if he finds the video? He watches porn... a lot.

Mary: Rape porn?

Cheryl: Yeah!

Mary: That's gross.

Cheryl: I know, he has a problem.

Mary: Well Cheryl, you have to tell him.

Cheryl: I know. It's just-

Mary: Hold on a sec Cheryl.

Cheryl: What is it?

Mary: There is a cutie totally checking you at at seven o'clock. He is sitting there, starring at you. He's not even blinking.

Cheryl: Where? Seven o'clocl?

Mary: Don't turn around, he'll see you.

Cheryl: But he's cute?

Mary: Adorable. But the starring is freaking me out a bit. He's completely fixated on you. He's not even touching his soup.

Cheryl: Well, I am gorgeous.

Mary: True. Wait, this is really weird.

Cheryl: What?

Mary: He's painting something now.

Cheryl: What?

Mary: He has an easel and a paint pallet, and he appears to be painting. I can't believe they're letting him do this in the restaurant.

Cheryl: Yeah that does sound odd. You think he's painting me?

Mary: I don't know. He keeps looking over here at you. He must be painting you.

Cheryl: You think I should go talk to him?

Mary: No, don't get up.

Cheryl: What should I do.

Mary: I don't know. This is freaking me out. He really doesn't look as cute when he's painting. He's starring at you with this really angry look on his face, then he looks at the painting with an angry face and looks back at you. Occasionally he paints something, but it's more of him angrily looking at you and his painting. I'm nervous. He looks crazy.

Cheryl: Ew. What should we do.

Mary: I don't know. Let's just sit here, completely still. Maybe he's like a T-Rex, and if we stay still, he won't be able to see us anymore.

Cheryl: Sounds like a plan to me. Let's sit still.

Mary: No talking either, cause that's like moving.

Cheryl: Okay.

Aaaannnnndddd scene. Alright, I added in the rape stuff. I think I probably would have gotten in trouble for that in school. I used the first few lines, up until where she told her she was raped. I used the husband, minus the rape porn, and then the ending of it. But yeah, I think adding in the rape stuff was a nice touch on my part, because it really gives the piece this seriousness to it that I was lacking before. That instantly takes it from jokey piece of shit to ready to be performed in front of a middle school during Don't Rape Week.