I'm Cool Too! Technology!

See, I’m cool too. I can do a Youtube inspired post!

I like music. I do. I even enjoy legally obtaining it, for the most part.

And one thing I especially like in my music is lyrics. You can argue that along with the music, lyrics are one of the most important parts of a song. I know it’s a bit out there, but that’s just how I feel.

And I like lyrics about transvestites. Or just manly looking girls. Or girly looking guys.

There’s nothing better than a good, I guess I’ll have to say gender bending song, although I’m not happy about it.

Anyway, I thought I’d share some of my favorite songs with you fine people(s?).

Alright, here’s my first choice “Lola” by The Kinks. This song might’ve been the reason I’m writing this blog. Well, partly this, partly the next song and partly because I wanted to learn how to post videos on a blog.

Some hinting lyrics about Lola being a transvestite:

“But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine” – I guess that’s not a dead give away, but still should’ve raise our hero’s eye brows. But it didn’t. It raised his penis. As in he got an erection. Because he liked it. And thus likes dudes. Or just manly women. Like Alex Rodriguez.

“Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand/Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man”- Oh come on now. Now, although I like this song, when I hear this line I just can’t trust the male in the story. She walks like a man. She hugs you really hard. At that point abandon ship or get ready to suck a ball or two, or three is she’s just that much of a man. Just say you were curious to see what all the fuss was about and do it. We don’t need this whole “oh I didn’t know” bullshit.

The big reveal: “Well I’m not the worlds most masculine man/But I know what I am and I’m glad I’m a man/And so is Lola”- doesn’t get much clearer than that.

Well I couldn’t find any sort of video for my next song. It’s not about a transvestite, but I’m including it anyway because it’s awesome.

It’s of course none other than “The Girlie Had A Mustache” but DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. Let’s get to some key lines:

“With a body like a goddess, man, this girl was bad!/Tight leather pants that fit like a drum/And two big - yeah well, she had some/Anyway from behind she was fine/But when she turned around, her mustache was bigger than mine” Well, right from the get go we know what the Fresh Prince has dug himself into.

Um, there’s this woman at work who is very nice and friendly. She even complimented me on my hair cut! Anyway, the other day she was telling me something, and we were sitting at her desk. So she was talking, and I was listening in and out of the conversation, trying to find stuff to stare at. That’s when I noticed she had what I’m gonna call a third of Hitler. It was like a light mustache, but only on the left side of her upper lip, and no even completely covering that entire half. She had a third of Hitler. And that’s when I had to just think to myself,

“I can't believe I didn't notice that the girlie had a mustache”

So this doesn't really count under any of the circumstances I listed earlier in the post. But get this, it's a cover of a version about falling in love with a girl! What's up with that? I'm so confused. I mean, the White Stripes video is cool, and the song is good, and it's all yeah, I'm falling in love with this girl! And this one is all I'm falling in love with a dude!

Anyway, I thought because of that it deserved a spot in this post, and because I'm just lazy. I included this video because as much as I like Legos, I'd make Joss Stone a nice cup of tea, let her sit down and rub her feet. And I hate feet.

So yeah, the decision to this video over the White Stripes one basically came down to whether I'd prefer to have a threesome with Jack and Meg, or just go at it with Ms. Stone. It was a harder decision than you'd think. Plus, this one has ?uestlove! I just noticed that when I thought I should actually watch a few seconds of the video before posting it.




So yeah, it's Aerosmith. I don't want to look up their lyrics, so I'm not going to use them. But hey, possibly little known fact: this song is autobiographical.



Yep. This song is clearly about trannys. Quick sidenote: are there transvestites that like women? There has to be right? So then why do I/we think of them as people just hunting for testicles?

Maybe it's just me, and maybe I'm just completely ignorant. Probably that, but hey, check out these lyrics:

" I want to see you all on your knees, knees/You either want to be with me, or be me!"- Can't you just picture a room full of transvestites holding their hair back as they blow each other? Yeah, I'm picturing it too. It's a shame I can't type well with one hand.


So I picked this video not because it has the lyrics, but because it sounded better than the others. Anyway, what? "My Girl" about a transvestite? Adaham, you're and idiot and you're crazy.

Crazy right. Just take a gander at these lyrics:

"I've got sunshine/On a cloudy day"- sounds to me like it's rainy, and this couple decided to spend the day inside of each other. And since it's cloudy I'm going to assume for the purpose of me making an ass of myself that it means it's raining. Raining what you ask? Semen. Think about it.

"I don't need no money/Fortune or fame/I've got all the riches, baby/One man can claim"- right. You see, nobody really loves anyone enough to give up money all together. Here's where the Temptations do something clever. And I'm not just talking about matching their outfits and using choreography. I'm talking about that last line. Cause he's dating a transvestite, or roughly half a man, he can still take half of the fortune, fame and money cause of his situation.



This is a bonus video. Instead of situation in that last line I originally wrote ladyman, and I remember this fantastic song, so I thought I'd throw it in there, because this post just wasn't long enough. Anyway, here's the line you need to look out for:

" J: Oh you sexy hermaphrodite lady-man-ladies/With your sexy lady bits/And your sexy man bits too/Even you must be in to you ooo ooo"