Have you ever listened to the song "Ask Me Why," by the Beatles? What is this, a love song for John Lennon's mommy? "I love you / 'cause you tell me things I want to know." I know you're dead and everything, but next time, leave the preschool teacher-statutory rape fantasies at home, Johnny. Grow up.
All the engineers at my job look like either the engineer from my college radio station, or gay versions of me. Like, me if I were a genie, or me if I was your creepy uncle, or me if I was a... gay... guy... It makes me wonder what could have been...
I was working with some CD's, and I stumbled upon the most disappointing band name ever: Bonerama. Not a single boner present anywhere in the band, their music, their album art, instrumentation, nothing. They play trombones.
Whenever I'm at work and there's some down time, I check my email and the websites I usually check when I'm bored and have free time, like you do. But then, by habit, I almost start typing the addresses to my regular porn sites... it's only a matter of time before I get fired for absent-mindedly checking walkthedinosaur.com.
I was working on something, and the radio was tuned to the children's channel, but not turned up. I've not been quicker to drop everything and turn the radio up than when I saw "Rubber Duckie by Ernie" appear on the display. This was the high point of my day, and I'm really happy about this. Also, I've never been quicker to turn off the radio than when Jack Johnson came on right after.
Sometimes I like to brush my teeth while peeing, and then spit the toothpaste into the toilet before flushing, to see if it "cancels out."
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