Oh Hardy Har Har, You're So Fucking Funny

Hey, wanna hear a story about a douchebag? Good, cause I've got a good one, I think.

So I had recitation for film analysis class today, and we were talking about different genres of film and stuff. We start talking about horror movies, and watched a clip from "Friday the 13th." We then had to note all the kind of standard horror movie techniques could find in the clip. Fine. That was pretty simple.

Then we continued talking about things seen in horror movies, mainly focusing on slasher movies. We got up to talking about the punishment for teenagers for having sex, drinking and/or doing drugs in those films, in that whenever teens do one or multiple of those acts, they usually die shortly after. Alright, makes sense. But wait, no. One kid in the back of the class has a question. I know this, not because I see him raise his hand, because I'm sitting a few people in front of him and am facing forward, but because he raises his hand, presumably, and said, "Wait, I have a question."

The teacher acknowledges him. He goes, "So then why I haven't been killed yet?"

Sigh.

Another sigh.

Well, wasn't that just hilarious. You see, he much have so much sex, and drink so much and do so many drugs he should've died a long, long time ago. Oh man, what a fucking awesome dude. I swear, I want to be just like him. From his wild lifestyle to the hat he always wears with his fraternity's Greek letters on it. Oh how I wish I was so cool.

Also, if he wants, I'd be more than willing to murder him shortly after the next time he does one of those three things.

Well, I probably wouldn't. But still, that was a horrible joke and I hope you hurt your jaw this weekend, rendering you from talking for a while. You dumb cocksucker.