Earlier today, I was playing drums for the church service for which I normally play instruments. This was the second service of the day, so I'd already sat through all that crap once; this time, it was about how we're all soldiers and I think Jews are the opposing army? I didn't really catch most of it. Anyway, about halway through, I started feeling sick. My whole body started aching, and I was having trouble staying awake, much less sitting upright. I went into "the fireside room," which is where they have people go when they need some time alone because of whatever emotional things they might be going through, or when they start speaking in tongues because the holy spirit is licking their butthole or something. I don't really know how this sect has everything figured out.
I laid down on the couch for about half an hour (which was only roughly half of the goddamn sermon), and wondered where this came from, and whether or not I would be able to deal with such dehibilitation as this, with a final paper to be written, a documentary without an ending to be screened, employees to be trained, and several final exams to be taken. I suddenly became terribly depressed.
I finished out the service, the entire time on the verge of an emotional outburst in which I would tell each member of the church to eat a bag of shit and die, and then leave, never to return. Not wanting to send anyone over the edge, with myself tottering so close, I headed to the editing lab, to work on the doc.
I started making little edits here and there, getting closer and closer to tears as I went along. I'd been there for a few hours, when I headed to the bathroom.
As I sat upon the toilet, I felt the weight lift.
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