People With Whom I Share a Birthday

I was bored today, and I decided to see other people who had the same birthday as me, December 30th.

Here are the highlights:

We're off to a good start with the first listing on wikipedia, with the Roman emporer, Titus.  Great start to the club, and we're proud to have him.

Then it gets boring for a while and I kind of skim it, until we get to Hideki Tojo, Prime Minister of Japan duringWorld War II.  Some birthday clubs might not be happy to have such a notorious man in their midst (My grandpa and Adolf Hitler share a birthday, and those are some tense general body meetings, let me tell you.  Because my grandpa hates secret Jews.)  We in the December 30th Birthday Society welcome celebrity, and are proud to include a man sentenced to death for war crimes -- that's crimes against humanity, let me remind you.  Beat that, December 31st Birthday Society for Faggots!  The closest you come to matching us there is Joey McIntyre, or maybe Bob Bryar, drummer for band-made-up-entirely-of-dickheads My Chemical Romance.

Next, we've got a Mexican President, but then, who doesn't?

Now we start getting into the musical genius category, with Bo Diddley, may he rest in peace.  I wanted to give you a little reminder about his awesometude by linking you to that YouTube clip of him collaborating with Donny Osmond, but it's lost from the internet, so instead, I'll tell you a story: this summer I interned with Radio Hall of Famer Cousin Brucie, and on the first day, he was doing a piece on Bo Diddley, since he'd just died, and said, "You know, Bo Diddley, like you diddle yourself."  Do I ever!

Next, a guy who's last name is Bologna!  Joe Baloney!  Yes!  High fives all around!

Now, I want everyone to brace themselves for this next one.  I told you we were just starting to get into the musical genius category, and here's where we really knock it out.  We've got, not one, but two Monkees.  That's right, Michael Nesmith AND the masterful tamborinist Davy Fucking Jones!  What now motherfuckers!  Suck my dick.

More visionaries!  Worlds First Professional Pooper and Jackass Co-Star, Dave England!  In the words of Stan Lee, "Nuff said!"

Finally, who better to cap the list than a Spanish porn star named NACHO VIDAL.  That's the best thing I ever heard.